Back to School Hit Different this Year
It has been one heck of a year at this house. Lots of milestones, lots of changes. We had a 20th wedding anniversary, an 18th birthday, a 50th birthday, a high school graduation, and our first college drop off. We knew all these things were coming, and despite our best efforts, we were unable to stop them or freeze any of those moments in time, even if it was for just a few extra hours.
Dropping your first born off at college is one of those mile markers on the highway of life moments. I recently saw an old Facebook post from San Diego State University directed to their incoming freshmen who were moving in the next day. To paraphrase, it asked the freshmen to let their mom help them unpack their stuff, to let their dad introduce himself to everyone on the floor, and to let them take lots of pictures. All the things that parents tend to do. Because, and this I quote, “as you start the new chapter of your life, they are also starting a new chapter of theirs. And believe it or not, this is probably more difficult for them than it is for you.” Man, that last line hit hard.
While Nolan is out blazing a trail of his own, his absence around the house has made me come to grips with some uncomfortable truths. Fairly soon, Everett will begin looking at colleges of his own. Once he leaves, we will be empty nesters. It seems like just yesterday we were filling our time on the PTA, coaching little league, and running back and forth to soccer practice. We would wonder how the boys would handle the BIG jump to middle school. Now we are thinking about what the days will be like with just the two of us around the house, our calendars which were once full of child centric activities, cleared out for whatever it is that comes next.
When you spend your days advising clients on how they should plan for and handle life transitions, it can be difficult to then become the one in need of guidance of your own. For as long as I can remember, the next goal up around here was to help send our kids through college. Now that day has arrived and the planner in me must ask, ok, what is up next after this?
When your kids are young, it is hard to imagine what it will be like when they are gone. This should not be a surprise, but it still feels like it kind of snuck up on us. It has been only three weeks so far, and it has given us a little glimpse of our near future. When all the concerts and sporting events stop, and dad’s taxi service is no longer needed, how do you want to spend that time? It is a question we are just at the beginning of trying to answer. Luckily, we still have a couple more years before we really need to know for sure.
