Exploring my money roots, to help you explore yours

Reflecting back on my early money memories, we were not poor, but we certainly were not rich. My parents did a great job of raising two kids and pushing them ahead in life all the way to the first two college degrees in the family. When I was young, my Dad would work all day, and when we he got home, my Mom would head in to work the overnights. It was not ideal for a family, but whatever it took to make things work was what they did. When I dig in and try to figure out how my relationship with money evolved, I think back to lots of different memories like this from my childhood. We didn’t have a lot, but we had enough. Our relationships with money form early on, and it is important to understand how these memories shape the way we think about it today.

When I was young, I got the feeling that money played a limiting role in the selection of some of our activities. We did not vacation a lot, but the vacations we took were simple and fun. If I wanted to do something expensive like playing hockey or get Bills season tickets with Dad, I got the feeling that my parents could make it work, but financially it might have been a stretch. From an early age, I was interested in learning more about money, and how ultimately, I could use this knowledge to my advantage. I know I never wanted money to be a limiting factor for me or my future family.

I took jobs as early as 11 years old. I delivered newspapers, first the weekly penny saver, then graduating up the Buffalo News. The idea of making money seemed cool! Seven days a week, I was responsible for delivering 80 copies of the paper to my customers, and then collecting money from them as well. You learn the value of a dollar by dragging a newspaper cart full of 80 Sunday papers up a slight snowy hill in January…at 7:30am.

I learned a lot about responsibility during those days. The paper needed to be delivered every day. I learned about counting money (thanks Dad! Make sure all the heads are all pointing in the same direction in descending dollar amount order). I learned about good customers and difficult customers. I learned how to deal with and talk to adults. I learned about the discipline needed to save and buy an expensive baseball glove. I learned about how some people were tough to chase down for money. All were great money lessons, and as it turns out, life lessons.

After high school, I went to college without a great understanding of what it would cost me. This was uncharted territory in my family. My parents chipped in what they could, but I did need to take out loans to make up the difference. I remember going to the bursar’s office to sign off on my student loan, not really having a true appreciation for what it was that I was signing off on. After a year and a half at Canisius, something deep in my soul told me that it was not the right fit for me financially. I remember having an issue with my financial aid where I received a lot less in year two, and my early money instincts knew something was not right. This was costing too much. As a result, I ended up leaving and getting a much better value by finishing up at UB.

After college, I remember subscribing to Money Magazine. What a nerd, right? Money Magazine was a great tool to help me get acquainted with money and its lingo. 401k’s, mutual funds, stocks, ROI (return on investment)…all of the basics. From there, I remember signing up for my first 401k at work. A level of comfort there led to buying some stocks in a brokerage account. Learning about and using the tools around money became a little more than a hobby at some point along the way. I realized I was pretty good at it. Through conversations with friends and family, I realized that lots of people needed some help. This ultimately led me to turning it into a career.

I think about my money memories a lot. My money experiences were very different from my wife’s. When two people come together to form a new partnership such as a marriage, it is important to realize the different feelings around money that we bring into the relationship. As parents, we do our best to make sure our kids do not have the same painful experiences we did in all aspects of life. The fear of not having enough money is what drove me into the person I am today. A little bit of scrappiness and hunger to get ahead financially is carved into my DNA. To use a baseball analogy, I was born on first base of the money world. As a result of my desire to get ahead, my kids were born on second base. My hope is that since they had a bit of a head start, they will be able to move further along in a quicker manner, having less worries, making them realize their hopes and dreams along the way. My kids will start with a baseline knowledge of how a Roth IRA works. How buying a house works. How interest on your savings account accrues. How debt can ruin it all.

Take a few minutes to reflect on your feelings about money. Think about those closest to you and try to think about their feelings around money. We all have different money stories resulting in different money emotions. Once you acknowledge your money story, think about whether or not there is anything you would like to change about it. For me, the hardest thing (and I have gotten better) is not being afraid to spend the money we worked so hard to save. Today would be a great day to change things up if you need to. If you need some help, let me know. I will see if I still have any old Money Magazines laying around.